One of the questions that we’re most frequently asked is “what should I tell my student about their learning differences?”
What you tell your student depends on their age. For younger students, it shouldn’t be about a diagnosis, but rather framing the discussion to highlight strengths and areas for development. The discussion should focus on why certain tasks are hard for the student and how you can support him or her.
For older students (middle school and beyond), the diagnosis of a learning difference (LD) is relevant because they need that information to advocate for themselves and to access classroom accommodations. LDs include dyslexia, ADHD, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia and other learning disabilities and related disorders.
With an open and honest dialogue, the goal is for your student to take away that: “My parents see my strengths. And my parents also understand what’s hard for me — and that doesn’t make me any less smart.” This discussion can be a huge relief for the student to be seen by the parent, be open about fears and understand what support is available.
What are your tips for talking to your student about their learning difference(s)?
Most importantly, remember that the goal is for your student to feel loved and supported.
Take the time to understand more about your student’s diagnosis. Read the evaluation report and any materials provided by the psychologist. Write a list of questions in advance of the evaluation follow-up and ask specifically about age-appropriate ways to explain the learning disability. The psychologist will likely want your student to be a part of a meeting to discuss the results.
Stay positive. Reassure your student of their unique capabilities. Share how the adults in their life are coming together to help them succeed. By feeling supported, your student will feel more motivated to push through challenges and reach out when they need help.
Your first conversation should be the start of an ongoing dialogue.
Why is it important for students to be aware of any learning differences?
Students with learning differences often feel worried about not meeting expectations. That worry can lead to clinical levels of anxiety and depression. Why should the student live with this struggle as if it’s a secret to bear alone?
Once students understand more about themselves and how they learn best, it can be extremely empowering. We want the student to understand that: “I’m a whole person with wonderful gifts. Just like everyone else, I have areas for development AND here’s what can be done about it.”
Knowledge is power. If students understand how they learn, then they can better advocate for themselves and thrive with the right support. That support varies — depending on the learning difference and grade level — and could range from tutoring and executive function coaching to classroom and homework accommodations.
When should students be able to advocate for themselves?
As you know by now, all students grow and mature at different times. Some students naturally begin advocating for themselves during their elementary school years, while others aren’t comfortable with this skill until the end of middle school.
Before entering high school, students should be advocating independently, unless the LD diagnosis is recent.
How can you encourage students to advocate for themselves?
Self-advocacy is a skill that can be learned. If a parent is always interfacing with teachers and is the one writing an email with questions about a project, the student is not gaining critical skills in advocacy and self-reliance.
To transition this role to the student, parents can take a scaffold approach. For example, instead of being the one to write an email to the teacher, a parent can sit next to their student while they email the teacher. Or, the student can dictate what needs to be conveyed to the teacher. Little by little, a parent can start to transfer advocacy so that teens can function with little to no parental intervention ahead of entering college.
About MAIA Education Resource Center
For over 16 years, MAIA Education Resource Center has supported K-College students and families with transformative educational decisions. Our expertise includes K-College tutoring, school placement consulting, college admissions counseling, test preparation, and executive function coaching. We also serve as educational consultants for professional and academic institutions, including hosting presentations and workshops on academic skills and neurodivergent learning. Please visit our website at www.maiaeducation.com for more resources and information.
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